Zoostuck
by Pookieee
Summary: A day to day account of Eridan's life, including failed romance attempts, an asshole work colleague and plenty of fish. Humanstuck, Eridans POV.


A loud ringtone wakes you from your slumber. You sit up with a groan and feel around for your glasses, only to knock them onto the floor. Cursing your actions you squint to try and see everything clearer. It was a useless thing to do but was certainly worth a shot. As you pick up your phone you only just manage to read the time. Who the fuck calls people at 2:30 in the morning?! As you put the phone to your ear everything is answered.

"Holy shit Eridan you have to get down here right now and tell them I didn't do it."

Cronus got in fucking trouble again.

You march towards Feferi's house. Yes it's a long walk away, but Cronus's house is further and you are not talking to officers whilst looking like you just crawled out if Satan's asshole. As you walk down the streets you can't help but sneer at all the Halloween decorations. You hate the holiday but its clear Feferi will make you put on that giant fucking fish head on again. You did it last year, and she swore to make you do it this year too.

As you get to the street Feferi lives on a more powerful frown takes over your face. It's horrid how she lives in such a basic fashion when she is 10 times as rich as you. You know and understand that she wants to keep her wealth on the down low unlike her older sister Meenah, but, she could at least move to a different part of town. You hate how close she lives to Sollux, the areas really dangerous and shitty too. As you come to the familiar gate you open it, walk up the path and knock on the door sharply. Just a habit you picked up from your farther. However, you didn't expect Meenah to open the door almost instantly.

God did she look tired.

Her hair was messy, her rat tails were tangled, and she had large bags under her eyes.

She was in squid pyjamas too.

That's adorable.

"Yo guppy, there's a time to knock on people's doors and you chose the wrong one, fuck off already." Meenah snapped, you heard what sounded like Feferi talking in the background, but it was hard to tell.

"Do I look like I w-want to be here Meenah? W-what are you ev-ven doin' here? Last time I checked Feferi didn't like bitches. Or should I say beaches."

"You wanna fuckin' go, Ampora?"

Meenah got in a fighting stance only to be nudged out the way by Feferi. Your face certainly relaxed a bit when you saw her, and a small smile tugged at your lips.

She had whale slippers and huge fluffy orca pyjamas.

Holy shit that is cute.

"Eridan? Water you doing here?" Feferi giggled, almost screaming out in laughter from her pun.

"Cronus"

"Oh I'll get my keys."

Meenah snorted and started laughing. It was routine now, Cronus got into trouble, you helped him out and Meenah laughed.

Feferi re-appeared with a long jacket thrown over her PJS, more suitable footwear and, somewhat tamed hair.

"Give Cronus a kick in the groin for me, Fef" Meenah said, still giggling slightly, as she walked upstairs.

"Come on captain grumps lets swim out of frown lagoon and surface the smile river!" Feferi said with a bubbly tone, and you couldn't help but chuckle and shake your head.

"You know-w w-what I'm like w-when it comes to Cro, Fef. He may be annoyin' as fuck but he is family." You mumble slightly, and every word was true. Cronus may be your cousin, but sometimes you wish you wouldn't have been raised so well, at least then you could punch him in the face and blame it on bad morals.

You yank open the car door, really not in the mood for anything stupid. Its 3 in the morning now and you have just about lost any sense of patience or cool you had before. You swear the smallest thing right now could make you rip off this car door and slap whatever asshole bugs you around the face with it—

"Whatth up fucker"

Oh.

Oh for FUCKS sake.

"Fuck off Sollux before I w-whack you so hard around the face your ugly somehow-w gets w-worse."

"Pleathe, Eridan, Itth clear that looking at you may jutht about fry my eyeballs out my thocketth. You really do win the uglietht woman pageant every year don't you?"

You turn around to punch him in the face, only to have Feferi grab your arm and give you a stern look. She doesn't have to say a thing and you know to stop. You drop into the car with a thud and slam the door shut.

After 10 minutes Feferi doesn't get in the car, and you are getting damn impatient, so you reach over to the driver's side and give the horn a good beep. A loud 'fucking thit!' is yelled, and you smirk to yourself, only to almost vomit when someone gets in the back seat.

"W-what the shit sol, get out! W-we hav-ve to help Cronus damn it!"

"Thut your thuttering mouth ampora, I've decided to come along for the ride and Fef thinkth I thould too."

You scowl at Feferi as she gets in; a sigh is your only response as she starts the car up and drives to Cronus's house.


End file.
